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Warning: Listening to this week's sound files could cause you to smile...


Party game? You play a sound track and your guests try to guess the speaker and source.


*--- 02.10.06 ---

"What am I some sort of lackey who gets stuck doing all the lousy jobs nobody else wants to do? Okay I know the answer to that."
99KB - Source: Female/Linda(Shawnee Smith)/Becker

"It's a medical fact. Men say what they mean, women set traps to see if you can guess what they mean."
58Kb - Source: Male/John Becker(Ted Danson)Becker

"I feel for ya but I gotta be honest the only bitching I can tolerate this early is my own."
67KB - Source: Male/John Becker(Ted Danson)/Becker

"First of all you're an idiot. And second (pause) naa that pretty much covers it."
73KB - Source: Female/Reggie(Terry Farrell)/Becker













*--- 02.03.06 ---

"Exxcussssssse Meeeeeee!"
68KB - Source: Male/Steve Martin

"Ohhh, you're right. And when you're right you're right. And you - you're always right."
96KB Source: Male/John Candy

"You've got the brain of a four year old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."
22KB - Source: Male/Groucho/The Marx Bros.

"Get off the computer and call me."
21KB - Source: Male




*--- 01.20.06 ---


"You are absolutely, unconditionally, positively the most stubborn person I've ever known in my life."
72KB - Source: Male/Grady(Gary Basaraba)Fried Green Tomatoes


"In short to recap in a slightly clearer version, in the words of David Cassidy in fact. While he was still with the Partridge family. I think I love you."
32KB - Source: Male/Charles(Hugh Grant)Four Weddings and a Funeral


"You're a goddamn genius. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted."
69KB - Source: Male/Drill Sergeant(Afemo Omilami)/Forrest Gump


"You're seeing a whole team of psychiatrists aren't you?"
27KB - Source: Male/Terence Mann(James Earl Jones)/Field of Dreams


*--- 01.13.06 ---

"I love malls, they play such happy music. And they let you try on things."
60KB - Source: Female/Britney/Daria


"Dude, for once I agree with you."
32KB - Source: Male/Daria


"You're umm, not as superficial as you act. I'm sure you just feel obliged to stress the moronic aspects of your personality."
86Kb - Source: Female/Daria/Daria


"Maybe you'd better stop putting your coats in storage until we know more about the effects of mothball fumes on the human brain."
73KB - Source: Female/Sandy/Daria


*--- 01.06.06 ---

"So, your assignment tonight is to locate Orion The Hunter in the sky. Then write an essay on why you think he needs to carry a weapon to feel like a man."
93KB - Source: Female/Teacher/Daria


"I'm a high school teacher I am rich beyond your wildest imagination."
46KB - Source: Female/ Molly(Lesley Boone)/Ed


"Actually, I may just skip college and stay home. It will save me the trouble of moving back in later."
66KB - Source: Female/Daria/Daria


"You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector, they expect results."
68KB - Source: Male/Ray(Dan Aykroyd)/Ghostbusters


*--- 12.02.05 ---

"Send check or money order to the address on your screen."
24KB - Source: Male/Commercial


"I spent two minutes, two whole minutes, two minutes shopping for your gift."
85KB - Source: Song/Males/Amazon.com Commercial


"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your credit card has been...declined."
74KB - Source: Male/Commercial


"Batteries not included."
12KB - Source: Female/Commercial


*--- 11.18.05 ---

Turkey gobble sounds.
66KB - Source: Male/Tom Turkey


"Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning
stuffing bread crumbs up a dead birds butt."

61KB - Source: Female/Roseanne/Roseanne


"Anybody else want a leg?" "Noooo legs for me,
you can never tell where a birds been walking."

51KB - Source: Male/Archie/Carroll O'Connor/All In The Family


"Oh Lord, on this blessed day we thank thee for
giving our family one more crack at togetherness. Amen."

90KB - Source: Male/Homer/The Simpsons


*--- 11.04.05 ---

"The voices from beyond the grave say, "Noooo."
69KB - Source: Male/King of Queens


"My sources from beyond the grave say, "Proceed."
65KB - Source: Male/King of Queens


"Well, gotta give you a big fat noooooo."
25KB - Source: Female/Carrie(Leah Remini)/King of Queens


"Dude, for once I agree with you."
32KB - Source: Male/Daria


*--- 10.28.05 ---

"Wait till you see the surprise I get you for Christmas. I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but you're going to need a bigger bra."
70KB - Source: Male/Doug(Kevin James )/King of Queens


"As president of the fashion club I'm calling an emergency meeting right now."
55KB - Source: Female/Sandy/Daria


"Ahh, I don't have to take this abuse from you. I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me."
48KB - Source: Male/Dr. Venkman(Bill Murray)/Ghostbusters(1984)


"I knew it, women hate men. Why do you hate us so much? Is it because we can pee standing up? Oh that makes you crazy doesn't it?"
65KB - Source: Male/Doug(Kevin James)/King of Queens


*--- 10.21.05 ---

"Prepare yourselves for destruction!!!"
42KB - Source: Male/Zim/Invader Zim


"It's classified. I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."
39KB - Source: Male/Maverick(Tom Cruise)/Top Gun


"Young fella, if you're looking for trouble I'll accommodate ya."
47KB - Source: Male/John Wayne


"Don't let me have to open a can of whopass on ya - hear?"
21KB - Source: Male/Charlie(Keith David)/Something About Mary


*--- 10.14.05 ---

"I'm a big man. I'm a big expansive man. You're a small petty man."
74KB - Source: Male/Larry David/Curb Your Enthusiasm


"Eawwwwwwwwwww, you're making me nauseous."
50KB - Source: Female/Quinn/Daria


"Yesterday I was just like everyone else, I fit in. But when I woke up this morning I had a pimple. Now my life is a hideous montage of humiliation and shame."
122KB - Source: Male/Invader Zim


"I'm gonna level with you, okay? I live a small life. I work in the subway. I've been held up at gunpoint seventeen times. Twice with a finger."
164KB - Source: Male/Spence(Patton Oswalt)/King of Queens


*--- 09.23.05 ---

"You are a meathead, a meathead! Dead from the neck up."
64KB - Source: Male/Archie Bunker(Carrol O'Connor)All In The Family


"Is that your final answer or would you like to call a friend?"
76KB - Source: Male/Lawyer/Ally McBeal


"Quickly, feed those figures into the computer."
23KB - Source: Male/Batman(Adam West)/Batman


"What am I some sort of lackey who gets stuck doing all the lousy jobs nobody else wants to do? Okay I know the answer to that."
99KB - Source: Female/Linda(Shawnee Smith)/Becker




*--- 07.01.05 ---

"Maybe the next book you read should be 'When mildly inconvenient things happen to shallow people.'"
57KB - Source: Female/Daria/Daria


"I see you're still waiting on that spine donor."
24KB - Source: Male/Frasier(Kelsey Grammer)Frasier


"Can you do a deep knee bend? Good, then you can kiss my ass."
43KB - Source: Male/Becker


"Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?"
19KB - Source: Male/Rob Lowe/Tommy Boy


--- 05.27.05 ---

"The truth? I hear voices, all the time, telling me to do stuff. It's crazy heh?"
28KB - Source: Male/Dr. Gregory House(Hugh Laurie)/House


"What's so great about you is that you always think you're right. What's so frustrating about you is that you are right so much of the time."
56KB - Source: Female/Stacy Warner(Sela Ward)/House


"Be yourself. Cold, uncaring, distant."
25KB - Source: Male/Dr. James Wilson(Robert Sean Leonard)/House


"You ARE brillant, funny, surprising, sexy."
45KB - Source: Female/Stacy Warner(Sela Ward)/House


--- 05.06.05 ---

"People, let's not fool ourselves here, this thing is both vast and dangerous and we are so far over our heads we can barely see daylight."
44KB - Source: Male/Gen. George Hammond(Don Davis)/Stargate SG1


"The president of the United States happens to agree with you."
16KB - Source: Male/Gen. George Hammond(Don Davis)/Stargate SG1


"You're not in any position to make demands."
18KB - Source: KB - Source: Male/Gen. George Hammond(Don Davis)/Stargate SG1


"You know you really will like me when you get to know me."
19KB - Source: Female/Sam Carter(Amanda Tapping)/Stargate SG1






*--- 04.15.05 ---

"I'm glad it's your birthday, happy birthday to you."
142KB - Source: Male/Beatles Birthday Song


"Happy b-b-birthday you thing from another world you."
27KB - Source: Male/Porky Pig/Looney Tunes


Happy Birthday music in midi form.
(4KB Mid)


"I spent two minutes, two whole minutes, two minutes shopping for your gift."
85KB - Source: Song/Males/Amazon.com Commercial


*--- 04.08.05 ---

"I bet ya twenty bucks I can get ya gambling before the end of the day."
66KB - Source: Male/Lloyd Christmas(Jim Carrey)Dumb and Dumber


"Who do you think you are Superman?"
41KB - Source: Male/Perry White(John Hamilton)/Superman


"Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right, right, right."
38KB - Source: Male/Ned(Stephen Tobolowsky)/Groundhog Day


"You're seeing a whole team of psychiatrists aren't you?"
27KB - Source: Male/Terence Mann(James Earl Jones)/Field of Dreams




*--- 04.01.05 ---

"I'm going to think of an April Fool's Day joke if it takes me all week."
60KB - Source: Male/Johnny Bravo/Johnny Bravo


"Hey, April Fools! Ha Ha Ha."
53KB - Source: Male/Johnny/Johnny Bravo


"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
59KB - Source: Male/Homer/The Simpsons


"HA HA! April Fools!"
28KB - Source: Male/Homer/The Simpsons


*--- 03.18.05 ---

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
130KB - Source: Male/Rhett Butler(Clark Gable)/Gone with the Wind(Via Salima V.)


"Baby, you're the greatest."
26KB - Source: Male/Ralph Cramden(Jackie Gleason)/The Honeymooners


"What we've got here is failure to communicate."
56KB - Source: Male/Captain(Strother Martin)/Cool Hand Luke


"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."
34KB - Source: Male/Oliver Hardy/Laurel & Hardy



*--- 03.04.05 ---

"You stupid ignorant son-of-a-bitch dumb bastard!"
36KB - Source: Male/George Caldwell(Gene Wilder)/Silver Streak


"If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar. Ha, ha, ha."
86KB - Source: Squidward SpongeBob SquarePants


"Man you're ugly. And short."
31KB - Source: Male/Invader Zim


"You big sack of stupid."
19KB - Source: Source: Female/Mimi(Kathy Kinney)/Drew Carey



*--- 03.04.05 ---

"You have 937 messages, all of which are marked urgent."
80KB - Source: Female/Voice Mail System/Dilbert

"Isn't there anything job related you should be doing at this particular moment?"
34KB - Source: Male/Joe Friday(Dan Aykroyd)/Dragnet


"What am I some sort of lackey who gets stuck doing all the lousy jobs nobody else wants to do? Okay I know the answer to that."
99KB - Source: Female/Linda(Shawnee Smith)/Becker


"Why don't you just cut a check to your large intestines cause that's the only part of you that does any work?"
46KB - Source: Female/Mimi(Kathy Kinney)/The Drew Carey Show





*--- 02.11.05 ---

"I prostrate myself before you and beg your forgiveness."
33KB - Source: Male/Ace(Jim Carrey)/Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls


"What I did was wrong. Okay I am scum. I'm a gnat's colon. I'm trash. I'm the scum inside a gnat's colon in the trash."
108KB - Source: Male/Titus/Titus


"It's official. I am a horse's ass."
31KB - Source: Male/Mulder/The X-Files


"I'm sorry and I'm stupid."
22KB - Source: Male/Raymond/Everybody Loves Raymond



* --- 02.04.05 ---

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son."
16KB - Source: Male/Dean Wormer(John Vernon)Animal House


"No, we're not homosexual but we are willing to learn."
33KB - Source: Male/Stripes


"Thank God it's Friday!"
17KB - Source: Male/Pep Streebeck(Tom Hanks)/Dragnet


"Why don't you do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head, and swallow."
52KB - Source: Male/Max Goldman(Walter Matthau)/Grumpy Old Men



--- 01.21.05 ---

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is... never try."
KB - Source: Male/Homer Simpson/The Simpsons


"Are you hard of hearing sucka?"
16KB - Source: Male/"B.A." Baracus(Mr. T)/The A-Team


"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"
27KB - Source: Male/Dr. Peter Venkman(Bill Murray)/Ghostbusters


"Ghostbusters, whatdoya want!"
22KB - Source: Female/Janine Melnitz(Annie Potts) /Ghostbusters



--- 01.14.05 ---

"Happy Birthday!"
14KB - Source: Male/Brian Shelby(Jason Lee)/Vanilla Sky


"It takes a great deal of bravery to standup to your enemies. But a great deal more to standup to your friends."
85KB - Source: Male/Albus Dumbledore(Richard Harris)/Harry Potter and the Soccerer's Stone.


"Pay me a compliment...I need one."
33KB - Source: Female/Carol Connelly(Helen Hunt)/As Good As It Gets


"You make me wanna be a better man."
32KB - Source: Male/Melvin Udall(Jack Nicholson)/As Good As It Gets



--- 01.07.2005 ---

"You just have yourself a good day. Take care now, bye bye then."
34KB - Source: Male/Jim Carrey(Ace Ventura)/Ace Ventura: Pet Detective


"I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet."
75KB - Source: Male/Buzz Lightyear(Tim Allen)/Toy Story


"Code Red, repeat we are at Code Red!"
24KB - Source: Male/Toy soldier/Toy Story


"When I was your age television was called books."
33KB - Source: Male/Grandfather(Peter Falk)/The Princess Bride



* From our archives

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