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(Usually Updated Friday Afternoons - 02.01.08)


"John Edwards dropped out of the race. He says he wants to spend more time with his haircut."

- Letterman




"The Kennedys came out for Barack Obama. The next big party endorsement is from Al Gore. Both Barack and Hillary are going all out to try to avoid that one."

- Leno




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David Letterman's Top Ten List for today
and the "Opening Monologue".





"Today was the Florida primary. I worry about John McCain because usually when a man his age comes to Florida, they donít leave."

- Ferguson




"Exit polls show Billís campaigning actually hurt Hillary. Gee, I hope that doesnít create any tension in their marriage."

- Leno











"Dennis Kucinich has dropped out of the presidential race. Heís going back to his old job as a Keebler elf. Iím not saying Dennis was short, but he tossed in the hand towel."

- Leno




"Happy birthday to Ellen DeGeneres. Fifty years old today. Iím starting to worry sheíll never find the right guy."

- Letterman






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The Daily Show - A comedic view of headline news. Video


Craig Kilborn's Five Questions - Video





"How about that Mitt Romney? He looks like an American president portrayed in a Canadian movie."

- Letterman




"What a cold day. It was so cold, I saw a flasher on Hollywood Boulevard wearing a sign on his raincoat saying, ďObjects May Be Smaller Than They Appear."

- Leno


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