Quote Of The Month
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Written on the back of a motorcyclist ----
"If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off."
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This page is made up of some of the best emails to cross our computers. The Pocket Internet posts them as submitted and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to them.
 Cover Item:
PRICES PER BARREL....
via Bill Chuck
In the news there are all kinds of reports on what oil costs per barrel, how it affects gas prices, airline tickets, heating and air conditioning, etc. Well, here's what the "other stuff" costs by the barrel.
(42 Gallons)
Texas Crude Oil: $14.68
Coca-Cola: $78.73
Milk: $126.00
Evian Water: $189.90
Orange Juice: $251.16
Snapple: $267.12
Perrier Water: $328.67
Lemon Oil: $390.88
Crisco Oil: $435.12
Scope Mouthwash: $826.65
Sunflower Oil: $971.04
Olive Oil: $1,324.38
Real Maple Syrup: $1,787.52
Sesame Oil: $2,535.61
Jack Daniel's Bourbon: $4,133.26
Visine Eye Drops: $32,202.24
Prescription Nasal Spray: $238,133.21
More Email:
THE TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA...
via Mary Kay
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
7. Viagra, Home of the whopper
6. Viagra, It plumps when you take 'em
5. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
4. Viagra, Tastes great, more filling
3. Viagra, Ten inches long ... and growing.
2. Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to
...and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:
1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
Even More Email:
New Parishioners...
via Mary Kay again
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young
newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new
parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to
abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week
I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made
it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,"
the young man replied sadly.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and
dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up,
I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in
our church," stated the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot
anymore either."
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