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 Cover Item:
From The Mouths Of Children
via Wendy
A couple of little girls were playing on the
playground at kindergarten
recently. One suggested to the other that they play
house. She said I will
be the wife and you can be the ex-wife.
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's
Prayer. She was
reciting it all by herself without help from her
mother. She said, "And
lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some
e-mail.
AMEN."
Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself.
His mother noticed
the left was on the right foot. "Son, your shoes
are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said,
Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW
they're my feet."
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher
said, "If anyone has
to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A
little voice from the back
of the room asked, "How will that help?"
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began
putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box
of animal crackers and
spread them all over the table. "What are you
doing," his mother asked?
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is
broken," the boy
explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out
of the city, but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin,
5, and Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first
pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were
sitting here, He would
say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can
wait." Kevin turned to
his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children when his
four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the
shore, where a sea gull
lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?"
the son asked. "He
died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said: "Did God
throw him back down?"
After the church service, a little boy told the
pastor, "When I grow up,
I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest
preachers we've ever
had."
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table,
she turned to her
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to
say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just
say what you hear Mommy
say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her
head 'and said, "Lord,
why on earth did I invite all these people to
dinner?"
More Email:
How To Clean A Cat
via Oracle Service
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.
3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and
close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that
he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the
edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can
find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a
"power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite
effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly
lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run
outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
Even More Email:
The Letter
via Mary Kay
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