Quote Of The Month
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and just give her a house."
-- Lewis Grizzard
 Cover Item:
"Time's Up"
via Bob M.
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing
God, she asked "Is my time up?"
"God said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to
live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come
in and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to
live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied, " I didn't recognize you."
More Email:
"Companionship Ad"
via Ellie
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in
the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips
and cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have
me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what
nature gave me.
Kiss me and I'm yours.
Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.
Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an
eight-week-old black Lab puppy.
|
