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Quote Of The Month

"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
- Unknown


This page is made up of some of the best emails to cross our computers. The Pocket Internet posts them as submitted and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to them.


Cover Item:

"Male or Female?"
via Taylor


From the Washington Post:

Swiss Army Knife - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Web Page - female, because it is always getting hit on.

Ziploc Bags - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Subway - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

Hourglass - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Remote Control - female, because it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.




More Email:


"TREATMENT FOR SUNBURN"
via Gordon


A man fell asleep on the beach under the noon day sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister. Anything that touched his legs caused agony. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra.

Rather astounded, the nurse inquired, "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?" The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off of his legs."




Even More Email:

"Lecture in Marketing"
via Henry

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Direct Marketing.


You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s fantastic in bed.”

That’s Advertising.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Telemarketing.


You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Public Relations.


You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”

That’s Brand Recognition.


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