This page is made up of some of the best emails to cross our computers. The Pocket Internet posts them as submitted and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. Cover Item: "Santa Claus" via Sandy THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. More Email: "The Fan" via Mary Kay A teacher was telling her first grade class that she was a Bears fan. She then asked her students to raise their hands if they were Bears fans, too. Most of her students did not understand what a Bears fan was but they wanted their teacher to like them, little brown noses that they were. So, all but one of her students raised their hands. The teacher asked this student, "Why do you choose to be different and not raise your hand?" He told her, "Because I am a Packer fan." The teacher was becoming frustrated and asked him, "Why are you a Packer fan?" He replied, "My Dad is a Packer fan, my Mom is a Packer fan, and so I am a Packer fan." The teacher was really getting angry at this point, and said to the boy, "So, if your Dad was a moron, and your Mother was an idiot, what would that make you?" The boy replied, Well, then I would be a Bears fan."

Even More Email:

"CATHOLIC PARROTS"
via Henry

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!" Return to index of Pocket Humor pages... Check Out Last Month's Newsletter Copyright © 1996- thepocket.com