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 Cover Item:
"The Bride"
via Gordon
At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely 25- year-old.
Because her new husband is so old, LouAnne decides that on their
wedding night, she and Morris are to have separate bedrooms. The
newlywed is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself
if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepares herself for bed, and
for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes,
the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of
LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes,
LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door.
It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat
surprised, LouAnne consents. When the newlyweds
are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and
leaves.
LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short
minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is
again... Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more
action. And again they enjoy one another. As Morris is once again set
to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed
that at your age, honey, I've been with guys less than a third your
age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."
Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says,
"You mean I was here already?"
More Email:
"Converted"
via Mr. Green
A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah, but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage firsthand.
A year later, the young man returned home, saying, "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers," the son said. "It was a wonderful and enlightening experience, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity."
"Oi vey," replied the old man, "what have I done?" So, in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. "It is amazing that you should come to me," said his friend. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he returned a Christian."
So, in the traditions of the Patriarchs, they went to see the Rabbi. "It is amazing that you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "I, too, sent my son to Israel and HE returned as a Christian. What is happening to our sons? Brothers, we must take this to the Lord," said the Rabbi. So, they fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty.
As they prayed, the clouds above opened up and a mighty voice boomed out, "Amazing that you should come to me with this problem. I, too, sent My Son to Israel...
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