Quote Of The Month "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." -- Robert DE Niro Cover Item: "The White House" via Gordon A man goes on a public tour of the White House and asks to see President Clinton. The Marine on duty tells the guy that Clinton isn't President, please leave. The man goes away. The next day he comes back to the White House and asks to see President Clinton. The marine on duty again tells the guy that Clinton is not the President, please go away. The man goes away. The next day he comes back again, and again the same Marine is on duty The man asks to see President Clinton again. Finally fed up with this guy, the marine shouts - "WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING HERE ASKING FOR HIM? CLINTON IS NOT THE PRESIDENT ANYMORE!" The man smiles happily and says, "I know, I just like hearing it." More Email: "Weddings" via Mary Kay When I was younger I hated going to weddings ...it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Even More Email:

"Excuses Received by High School Attendance Offices"
via Henry

Please excuse Gloria, She been sick and under the doctor. My son is under the doctor's care and could not take fizacal ed. Please execute him. Please excuse Joey Friday, he had loose vowels. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah diahoah dyah the shits. Return to index of Pocket Humor pages... Check Out Last Month's Newsletter Copyright © 1996- thepocket.com