 Cover Item:
"Tom's Problem"
via PolskiInternet.com
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
The Middle Item:
"Krogers"
via PolskiInternet.com
A man was sitting in a bar complaining about how much he hated his wife. After a few minutes the man next to him said: "Hello. My name is Art. I couldn't help but overhear you. If you give me a dollar I'll kill your wife for you."
The man said: "Great! She'll be at Kroger's tomorrow in a black car."
The next day Art went to Kroger's and strangled the woman. There were 2 old ladies watching him, so he strangled them too. Then the police arrested him.
The headline the next day said: "Art Chokes 3 For A Dollar At Kroger's"
The Last Item:
"Baseball In Heaven"
via PolskiInternet.com
"Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that, yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
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