Quote Of The Month
"I'm so depressed...I went to the doctor today and he refused to write me a
prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a
condemned building."
-- Unknown
 Cover Item:
"Lipstick"
via G. Green
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
More Email:
"Defamation of Character"
via G. Green
A
man is halled into court and is being sued by a woman for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said...
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!"
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