 Cover Item:
"IDIOT SIGHTINGS"
via Best Jokes Page
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
The Middle Item:
"Black and White"
via Best Jokes Page
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
You white folks…
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.
So who you callin' colored?
The Last Item:
"Golf"
via Best Jokes Page
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf club wrapped tightly around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a nice quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture full of cows. We went to look for the ball and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the cow's tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
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