 Cover Item:
"Male Putdowns"
via Funnymail.com
Women prefer the simple things in life...like men.
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
nothing and then marry him.
What's the difference between men and pigs?...Pigs don't turn
into men when they drink.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
Boys will be boys, but men are better at it.
What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?...A
widower.
They put one man on the moon. Why can't they put them all there?
What's an orgasm, Mom? I don't know...ask your father.
If you catch a man...throw him back.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
The Middle Item:
"Mirror, Mirror On The Wall"
via Funnymail.com
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the
Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in
front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish.
However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed
up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and
stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most
beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallows her.
Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says,
"I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror
swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the
mirror and says, "I think..." *POOF*
The Last Item:
"Who Made These Statements?"
via ahajokes.com
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
"The future will be better tomorrow."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
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-- Vice President Al Gore
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