 Cover Item:
"Bada-bing Bada-boom"
via Best Jokes Page
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!" (Steven Wright)
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said. "No. I hate myself now." (Rodney Dangerfield)
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living." (Henny Youngman
The Middle Item:
"Never Satisfied"
via Best Jokes Page
A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!" (Myron Cohen)
The Last Item:
"Rocket Science"
via Best Jokes Page
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
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