Quote Of The Month
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
-- Winston Churchill
 Cover Item:
"A Christmas Tradition"
via G. Green
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out Heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
The Middle Item:
"Notes from Kids to Pastors "
via Henry S.
Dear Pastor,
I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours
sincerely, Arnold.
Age 8, Nashville
Dear Pastor,
I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't
be there.
Stephen
Age 8, Chicago
Dear Pastor,
I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it
to Disneyland.
Loreen
Age 9, Tacoma
Dear Pastor,
Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help
or a new pitcher. Thank you.
Alexander
Age 10, Raleigh
Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.
Ralph
Age 11, Akron
The Last Item:
"Questions Dear Abby Couldn't Answer"
via Henry S.
Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle aged gym
teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women
go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their
apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby:
I have a man I can never trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the
baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him
to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.
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