 Cover Item:
"Anything For $20.00"
via D. Taylor
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her
girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy,
middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take
her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare
and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer
her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her,
"I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter
how kinky, for $20.00 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly
removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand
along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and
meaningfully said..."Clean my house."
The Middle Item:
"Do You Know Me?"
via a friend
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman waves at him
and says hello.
He's rather perplexed, because he can't place where he knows her from so
he says to her, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my children."
Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and says,
"My God! Are you the stripper from my bachelor party whom I made love to on the
pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt
with a wet celery stick?"
She said, "No Sir, I'm your son's math teacher."
The Last Item:
"The Pharmacy"
via D. Taylor
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited
about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the
wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes
for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
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