 Cover Item:
"The Ice Fisherman"
via PolskiInternet.com
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and
peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down
there!"
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered
into the hole and again the voice said, "There are no fish down there!"
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and
again the voice said, "There are no fish down there!"
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
The Middle Item:
"Children's Letters to God"
via a friend
The Last Item:
"10 Straight Questions with Straight Answers"
via D. Taylor
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the
participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for
several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every
year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of
the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without
touching the ball?
5. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
6. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear
inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is
genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside
the bottle?
7. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw"
and they are all common words. Name two of them.
8. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?
9. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the Los Angeles Lakers?
10. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning
with the letter "S."
Answers
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants
know the score or the leader until the contest ends - boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward - Niagara
Falls The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year
because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every
minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for
several growing seasons - asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the
team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching
the ball - baseball.
5. The fruit with its seeds on the outside - strawberry.
6. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the
bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small,
and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for
the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped
off at the stems.
7. Three English words beginning with dw - dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
8. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar - period, comma,
colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark,
exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces,
and ellipses.
9. The original lakes referred to in Lakers - are in Minnesota. The
team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and kept the
name when they moved west.
10. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "s."
- shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates,
snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
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