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This page is made up of some of the best emails to cross our computers. The Pocket Internet posts them as submitted and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to them.



Quote Of The Month

"Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
-- Unknown


Cover Item:

"Not Hungry"
via Henry

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires.

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe he'd like a microwaved pizza or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?

He declines. "Naw, still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."




More Email:


"The Golf Fanatic"
via Gordan

There was a fellow who was a golf fanatic. Every Saturday morning he had an early tee time. He'd get up early and eager, golf all daylong....36 holes sometimes.

Well, one Saturday morning he got up early, dressed quietly, got his clubs out of the closet and went to his car to drive to the course. Coming out of his garage, rain was pouring down. It was a torrential downpour. Snow was mixed in with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.

He returned to the garage. He came back into the house and turned the TV to the weather channel. He found it was going to be bad weather all day long, so he put his clubs back into the closet. He quietly undressed and slipped back into bed. There he cuddled up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing in that?"





Even More Email:

The Drugstore
via Taylor

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

"Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers "Yes".

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, Jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please."


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