 Cover Item:
"The Wedding Dress"
via Best Jokes Page
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother, Sheila, had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her father's new young wife, Barb, had purchased the exact same dress! She asked Barb to exchange the dress, but Barb refused. "Absolutely not! I'm wearing this dress. I look like a million bucks in it!"
Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind, Sweetheart, I'll get another dress. After all, it's YOUR special day."
Two weeks later Jennifer and her mother went shopping and found another awesome dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You really don't have any place to wear it."
Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, Dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"
The Middle Item:
Warning: Off-Color Humor
"The Benefactor"
via Best Jokes Page
A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the local hospital, when during her tour of floors, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my GOD!" said the lady. "That's disgraceful; why is he doing that?"
"The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he will die within minutes."
"Oh, that's terrible," said the lady.
In the very next room they could see that a female nurse was performing oral sex on a different male patient.
"OH my GOD!" said the lady, "How can that be justified?"
The doctor replied, "Same illness, better health plan."
The Last Item:
"Thts Cazry"
via
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
Did you udenrstnad that?
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