 Cover Item:
"A Moral Test"
via G. Green
You're in New York City. There is great chaos
going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There
are huge masses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer
and you are in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly
hopeless.
You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and
people floating around you, disappearing into the water. Nature is
showing all its destroying power and is ripping everything away with it.
Suddenly you see a woman in the water, she is fighting for her life,
trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move
closer, the woman looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is - it's
Hillary Clinton! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are
about to take her away... forever. You can either save her or you can
take the best photo of your life - you can't do both.
And here's the test: (Please give an honest answer) Would you select
Kodak color film (ISO 400), or go with the simplicity of classic black
and white?
The Middle Item:
"4 feet, 8.5 inches"
via G. Green
If you live near a railroad track, get a tape measure and check this out. The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And may the bureaucracies live forever.
So, the next time you are handed a spec and told we have always done it that way, and wonder what horse's arse came up with that, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.
Now the twist of the story...
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' arses.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's arse.
The Last Item:
"Memories"
via G. Green
A couple in their 90's is having problems remembering things, so they decide
to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're
physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help
them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His
wife asks, "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen," he replies.
She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
The husband says, "Sure."
She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?"
He says, "No, I can remember that!"
She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write
it down 'cause I know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain you'll forget that,
so you'd better write it down."
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down! I can remember that!
Ice cream with strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the
kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his
wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"
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