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Quote Of The Month

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


Cover Item:

"Properly Equipped"

The following is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.





More Email:


"2002 Darwin Award Nominees "
via Henry S.

A man whose vehicle broke down on I-35 was struck and killed by a train while calling for help. The train engineer spotted him standing on the tracks, holding a cell phone to one ear and cupping his hand to the other ear to block the noise of the train.

Daniel was practicing his marksmanship by shooting at electrical insulators, whose function is to hold electrical wires aloft. Eventually the shattered targets were no longer able to do their job, and a high-voltage wire fell to the ground, sending Daniel to his shocking demise.

A 20-year-old demonstrating train-hopping to his friends tried to hop a southbound train, but failed to notice the simultaneous approach of a northbound train.





Even More Email:

Some Words About France
via Boosh

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh,



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